Love, like a mothers, should be unconditional; No Matter What.
Our whole lives we are exposed to the idea of love and being in love.
always having that one person who we can share our hearts and our lives with , peacefully , forever and ever.
To most of us as the years have gone by, it has started to sound like a fairy tale. Most of us think the same thing when we see couples walk by us : "they look so perfect. So perfect , they make me sick! "
Realistically they are probably going through their weekly fights, arguments and problems in their relationship behind the scenes.
All of us have been used, abused, put through hell, and fallen in love only to come out with hate in our hearts. Besides the personal experiences and heartbreaks we have all had, What does it really take to be in a healthy relationship? And how do you know if you want one or not?
It all starts with YOURSELF.
When jumping into love and relationships, we often jump into them with expectations of the other person.
Women have expectations of how men should speak , look, act & be, and men have an expectation of how women should speak, look , act & be. This is the main problem. We Must stop looking at each other as different genders or by expected traits and just look at each other as human beings.
What we do wrong is we look for certain qualities and preferences that we want the person we love to have. But this is WRONG and completely the opposite meaning of what love is.
Love is not something that WANTS anything from someone else.
Love is not something that WANTS anything from someone else.
Love is a selfless, and giving sense of appreciation towards something or someone for just being themselves and what/who they are.
Getting along with somebody in a relationship, starts with having the same basic principles.
Refering back to Recognizing the self in week one on Life Advice & motivation, we know that we must live by principle. PATIENCE,RESPECT, HONOUR, LOYALTY, COMMITMENT, HARD WORK, KINDNESS, EQUITY, INTEGRITY, ECT.
To know if your ready to be in a relationship, you must first look at yourself and see if you live by principle and love who you are. If you feel compete as a person and are happy with yourself. You are ready to be with someone else. If you are not fully developed as the person you want to be in life, and wish to make changes to yourself or your lifestyle or have goals that you would like to accomplish, you are not ready for a relationship.
When getting to know a person you find interest in, try and recognize if they are a character of principle. Couples with the same values will always get along. Two people who are patient can always wait for each other, two people who are respectful and understanding will always treat each other that way. even without expectation, love will come naturally between the two for the qualities that you recognize and love in yourself, will mirror in your lover.
Relationship killers are known to be : Jealousy, Assumptions, Control, Lack of trust, and Money!
The first four, usually come from the self. Where we create ideas about the future that arent true or havent happend yet. if you are currently in a relationship and you feel jealous, insecure, you make assumptions that your partner is doing you wrong, you have lack of trust, and have become controlling, The problem is within yourself. Being able to recognize these signs in your partner is also very important, because this shows that either you , or your partner are not developed enough as a person to be strong mentally and emotionally to be able to keep a healthy relationship.
If you are in a relationship and you find problems with money and sharing are coming into play. the issue is simply that you must not share from the same loaf of bread. You must share with each other from your own bread, but do not share from the same loaf. In otherwords, Be who you are separately, but share with eachother, only peices of yourselves.
Things to try this week :
- go out of your way to show appreciation towards someone
- watch a romatic movie
- give thanks to a loved one
- reevaluate who you are and what your morals values and principles are
- dont give up hope in LOVE!
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